Guard it with you life!

One of few letters of encouragement I sent to a close friend about a month ago. (this post is written mid Feb 2013, just realized I have not publish). Somehow I sense that it is divinely inspired, hence I saved it for myself to re-read during hard times.  
I heard someone wise mentioned in the sermon, not "if troubles come" but "when trouble come" .....for it will surely come, and most likely n when it is least expected.

Now I am reading this for myself , for right now I am exhausted in every way.
My husband's condition is getting more taxing for me as a sole care giver.
He talks and more fluent now, yet his short term memory is impaired.
He will ask the same questions for many times, at least 10 times, and it is me who need to remind him over and over that it has been done.


I am so tired physically, and the reports from the rehabilitation center team is not positive.  They said they have done what they can, and that my husband's stage will NOT be better than now.

Which means : 
He won't be able to stand by himself.
He won't be able to walk by himself.
He won't be able to even turn his body by himself.
He won't be able to be unaccompanied, for his mind does not function as normal.
He would never ever carry another job in his life.

My letter to my close friend who is undergoing tough time in life:

Dear, we  know that there's always a price to pay, and we are so blessed that ours have been cleared in full by HIM. So, now we just need to keep standing firm on the fact that the spirit in us is greater than anything in this earth.
I will support you in prayers too, yet again, the battle starts in our minds. So no matter what, let's not lose heart, GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE.....for all things springs from our hearts...right?
I learn to obey by praying when i feel the most reluctant to pray....and most of the time , i find new strength from HIM through those reluctant prayers.
I learn to be patient and bear with each other (family members and all) through the most complicated family situation that I ever know in my own extended family.
So in this short life of 38, I realize that my student life doesn't end when i gain the degree from university, but when I die and meet my lovely maker face to face.
Let's keep look up and focus our starter of faith, for HE will carry our faith into completion...for it is not us who started ...it's HIM...and from all the recent tragedies in my life, i am 1000 percent sure that HE is not a half way God....i don't know all the whys, but i don't want to stop at that and get all frustrated with GOD.
I learn to cry to him during our one on one time....to pour out my heart and frustration that can only be understood by my maker...and come out of the room feeling and knowing that I am not alone, I am loved and forgive...and ready to spread it around....regardless my circumstances.
Papo and i are far from being amazing, but we are willing to be living sacrifice.....sacrifice our wills at the alter of the Lord.....not that HE needed anything from us...but this is our response to the amazing love that HE has poured out on us.


My prayer for that day: 
Father God, I don't have much strength in every way.
I really want to pass this test, 
I really want to keep believing,
Help me not to doubt,
Help my disbelief Lord.
Help me Father to focus on you and guard my mind against all things that do not come from you.
More of You and less of me Lord Jesus!


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