A day filled with cocktail

Dear friends,

This is my second posting for the blog.  I am still considering if I should upload pictures on this blog....confidentiality issues and bad internet connection problems are the major factors for doing so.  Believe it or not the internet connection in Surabaya, the second largest city of Indonesia, is still very "lemot" (translation: very  slow).

Back to Papo updates (from the wife's perspective of course).

It is a great Sunday for me, for I was greeted with "I love you" by my hubby when I said "good morning" when I met him in his room downstair.

We chatted for a while, and he said "You are a wonderful wife", that was definetely a pleasant surprise, as I replied "You are a wonderful husband too".

But  he continued with saying "sorry....sorry...sorry", when I heard this (actully it's more like reading it from his lips, for he has no clear voice yet) I can't hold my tears....

I know my hubby is not the sweet talker type. He only talk when it is necessary.....

It breaks my heart to hear him apologizing for his current condition, he is not able to do much now, compared to his usual self prior to the accident. 

Being one of the pastors of a healthy, growing and vibrant church like ICA has shaped him to be proactive despite of his quiteness.  He doesn't say much but he does a lot and smiles to everyone.  

He loves what he does, serving God and His people, within the church building or outside on mission trips all over Indonesia.

Sunday was the busiest day of the week for us as a family, before the accident, from 730am till 630pm we can find Papo at church doing his job......but now, he is laying in his bed and looking at me ready for church....i don't know exactly how he feels, but I can tell from his eyes he wanted to go too....just like before all these happened.

I tried to stop  my tears, holding his hands I said, "You have nothing to be sorry about honey, you are working hard here to co-operate with God in healing you....and I am proud of you for doing that". 

His eyes looked a bit more cheerful as he said "Help me to be a better husband" 

Oh Lord Jesus, this is so hard....

Looking at my husband who can't do what he loves to do, yet I still need to be strong for him and not cry.

My heart was like a cocktail of sadness and joy.

I am sad to see him at his current stage, and pray for instant healing everyday......and the Lord has been faithful in showing me miracles every day, big or small....I consider each progress that happened to my husband now as a gift from the Lord.

I am joyful for even during his immobile stage, his heart and mind are working well and willing to be mold by the Holy Spirit.

I see he becomes more in touch with his own feelings and thoughts, and willing to convey it to me. 

The first 3 years of our marriage we often fought over the problem of communication.  

I was like a crowbar, and he was the clam that I tried to break open.....it's a long story that I will share  in the future..... but we often use this as example in our pre-marital counseling sessions with  couples who are soon to be married....we messed up big time, we learnt, we moved on and grow!

From that to this.....greeting me with "I love you"  (he says it at least twice now, morning and night like antibiotics perscription) and saying that he wants to be a better husband for me.....wow....that is a miracle on its own!

I am grateful to You my Lord, that You still consider my husband and I pliable clay to mold, worth You while to work on, to be better tools for Your Kingdom (Romans 9: 21-23).

Regardless of many hurdles ahead, I believe that the one who has started the good work in us, will bring it into completion  (Philippians 1:6)

I believe my God is not a "half-way" God, throughout all these difficult moments, He never stop to show me of His love and grace.  

His faithfulness is amazingly true and real....He shows it by actions, not just from reading them in the Bible....but truly I see miracles are happening through and in our lives. 

When we don't know anyone in Singapore, God provided us with the best neuro surgeon, Dr. Timothy Lee.

When I was in the deep of a pit, my brain was not functioning and can't think, God sent me many "angles in human forms"  to come and pray with me and Papo.  They came even at night after their busy day at work, still wearing their working clothes, they deligently came and prayed for us.  

When I was in need of accomodations in Singapore while caring for Papo, God provided caring couples to open their house for a stranger like me that they just met once......that must be God.

When hospital bills were pilling us, God provided through love gifts from families and ICA friends.  

Without request, our family members - the very same people who used to go against our choice to serve God full time, supported us.

Our church friends are sending love gifts.....even friends whom we never met, and heard of our story....they sent us love gifts from afar....that must be God at work in their lives.  

I can not find any other explanation and can not deny God's constant involvement in all these situations.

Loving and blessing us through Your people and Your chosen circumstances.

All glory belong to You my Lord Jesus! 

You are indeed our Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Rophe and Jehovah Nissi!